Reformed Churchmen

We are Confessional Calvinists and a Prayer Book Church-people. In 2012, we remembered the 350th anniversary of the 1662 Book of Common Prayer; also, we remembered the 450th anniversary of John Jewel's sober, scholarly, and Reformed "An Apology of the Church of England." In 2013, we remembered the publication of the "Heidelberg Catechism" and the influence of Reformed theologians in England, including Heinrich Bullinger's Decades. For 2014: Tyndale's NT translation. For 2015, John Roger, Rowland Taylor and Bishop John Hooper's martyrdom, burned at the stakes. Books of the month. December 2014: Alan Jacob's "Book of Common Prayer" at: http://www.amazon.com/Book-Common-Prayer-Biography-Religious/dp/0691154813/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417814005&sr=8-1&keywords=jacobs+book+of+common+prayer. January 2015: A.F. Pollard's "Thomas Cranmer and the English Reformation: 1489-1556" at: http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Cranmer-English-Reformation-1489-1556/dp/1592448658/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420055574&sr=8-1&keywords=A.F.+Pollard+Cranmer. February 2015: Jaspar Ridley's "Thomas Cranmer" at: http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Cranmer-Jasper-Ridley/dp/0198212879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422892154&sr=8-1&keywords=jasper+ridley+cranmer&pebp=1422892151110&peasin=198212879

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Blistering Satire on Katharine Jefferts Schori

http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=14608

Katharine Jefferts Schori: A fearless woman of firsts...really
News Analysis

By David W. Virtue
www.virtueonline.org
July 7, 2011

The headline in the Anglican Journal of Canada screamed, "A fearless woman of firsts...the 26th Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church is an expert in forging relationships-even with those who disagree."

After I had picked myself up off the floor, groped my way towards the ice box in the vain hope of finding something stronger than tonic with a wedge of lime, I sat back to read the execrable rubbish that included these lines, "She is a prophetic and courageous voice; her ministry has always been about complete inclusivity." Or this; "During her tenure as bishop of Nevada, Jefferts Schori displayed the same commitment to inclusiveness as she does as Primate. Her leadership was never top-down but rather characterized as "collaborative," "inclusive" and "a servant leadership that invites all to bring their gifts to the mission of the church." "As a scientist she understands complex connections." At this point I threw up.

"Wife, my love," I cried, "a bucket of ice tea, lace it with anything you can find and hold the ice."

My dog cocked her head, walked across the kitchen floor, lay down and licked my toes.

Visions of Archbishop Robert Duncan and all the ACNA bishops swept before my eyes; visions of Chuck Murphy and AMiA, of bishops Martyn Minns and John Guernsey and empty chairs in Dublin, of countless lawsuits, and the bald pederast Brother Bede Parry of the diocese of Nevada being inducted into TEC's Hall of Infamy. The future of SC Bishop Mark Lawrence hauled up on faux charges that he is trying to take his diocese out of TEC floated in and out of my consciousness. I passed out.

When I came to, I found a needle in my arm and an EMT guy asking me where the pain was.

"All over, I said.

"Can you be more specific, sir?"

"I feel the pain of exclusion in my groin, my head lacks inclusivity, all my body parts seem to be floating in a sea of diversity and I have been looking for Sufi the Rumi and couldn't find him...."

"Sir, how long have you been having these...ah pains?"

"For years, but lately they seem to have gotten a lot worse. I was reading this article in a Canadian Anglican publication about our dear Presiding Bishop and visions of the president of North Korea floated before my eyes. I think they refer to him as Dear Leader or Supreme Leader, well anyway, when his name ended in il (Kim Jong), I knew I was on the right track.

"This magazine said she had 'sang-froid' and that she 'does not care for biographical questions.' I wonder why?"

My mind floated to Wikipedia and all the important stuff about her theological education being erased. I started to hyperventilate. The EMT guy handed me a paper bag and told me to blow into it.

".... She said she specialized in 'zoogeography which tracks the distribution of species...' I guess that is why she is so good at tracking orthodox bishops and throwing them out of TEC."

"I wouldn't know, sir."

"Then she said she had been studying cephalopods...I thought it was a praying mantis or something, but then she said it was about squid and octopus and suddenly a jet of ink hit me right between the eyes..."

"I think you were hallucinating sir, we found no ink on your body."

"She said she wants young baptized people to be involved in MDGs... but the young are not coming into Episcopal churches. Their parents are barely coming any more..."

"What's an MDG, sir?"

"Mad Dog Government spending...I think."

The article said she "championed inclusiveness..."

"Why is that a problem sir?"

"Well most of the the orthodox and faithful believing Episcopalians have left the church because they won't conform to her idea of what the church is or should be. They felt unincluded or at least that their point of view was not included..."

"That's very unfortunate, sir...I notice that your breathing seems to be returning to normal."

"This week we learned she allowed a Roman Catholic priest into the Episcopal Church when she was Bishop of Nevada allegedly knowing he was pederast..."

"Oh my god. That's awful, sir."

"Now we know why she won't get rid of PA Bishop Charles Bennison."

"Who's he?"

"It's a long story. I won't bore you. Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse a church committee gave her extraordinary powers to override local bishops. That's a bit like giving Pompeii to Nero knowing how it would all turn out."

"Shocking, sir."

"Worst of all, I don't think anybody likes me anymore."

"Really. Perhaps a therapist might help, sir."

"I tried that, but the Episcopal lesbian shrink said I was beyond hope."

END

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