More passages Bible-zero, Bible-free Joel Zero-Steen might preach:
1. Daniel 4: speaking words of favor and blessing to a pagan and idolatrous king, Nebuchadnezzar. Keeping things lite and upbeat.
2. Daniel 5: Interpreting "Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin" in positive ways without judgmental words.
3. Daniel 9: Skipping this chapter is a word of health and prosperity. There's no such thing as confession of sin for kings, princes, and the people. Just speak that word of favor.
4. Mt. 2.1ff: Avoiding depraved kings, e.g. Herod
5. Mt. 2.13-15: Positive vistas as exiles in Egypt
6. Mt. 2.16ff: Preaching about a historical inaccuracy that God will never allow: the slaughter of children. Best to just avoid this little section and be positive.
7. Mt. 3.1-12: Corrections and homilietical tips to John the Baptist: avoiding those negative words "brood of vipers," "laying the axe to the tree" and other mistakes.
8. Mt. 4.16: Corrective words to Jesus who should never have claimed the passage...coming to "the people who sat in darkness."
9. Mt. 5.4: Jesus' mistaken notion of "blessed are those who mourn..."
10. Mt. 5.10: Jesus' negativity corrected: "blessed are you when they persecute you..."
11. Mt. 5.21: Overcoming adultery, a sermon you will never hear at Lakeside Church, Houston.
12. Mt. 5.27: Overcoming murder, another sermon you will never hear at Lakeside
13. Mt. 6.5ff: Why we ditched the Lord's Prayer (and creedal, liturgical and confessional statements too). We have something far better: words of power and creative faith.
14. Mt. 6.10: What Jesus really meant with "Thy kingdom come..." Just order it up. No need for prayer.
15. Mt. 6.13: What Jesus really should have taught, "Lead us not into temptation..." This is an irrelevant prayer since we run things with our positive words.
16. Mt. 6.19: Corrections for Jesus on "Lay not up treasures on earth..." He missed the boat here and how you can overcome Jesus' words for your life now.
17. Mt. 7: Jesus' "Ask, seek and knock" = think, claim and command God
18. Overall reflections on Matthew: Toss the book and buy mine, Zero-Osteen, for that better life now.
19. Overall teachings on Jesus's Teaching: "I don't know too much about that. I'm not called to that."
20. Mt. 7.18ff: "The Costs of Discipleship and Taking up Your Cross" = Once you see the values, benefits, wealth and prosperity, you'll put that Cross in the rear-view mirror and move forward in high-speed. Reap those blessings. There are no costs.
21. Mt. 9.13: Words that Jesus should never has said. "I came to call sinners to repentance..." Words you will never hear at Lakeside Church, Houston.
22. 2 Cor. 12.7-10: Paul's Massive Screw-up with that Thorn in the Side. His failure to speak that word of faith.
23. 2 Cor. 13.2: Paul's failure of faith and mistake when he said, "...if I come, I will not spare." These are not words of faith.
24. 2 Cor. 13.5: Aren't ya' glad you tune in to TBN and Zero-Steen? You'd never hear these mistaken words, "Examine yourselves to see if you are in the faith..." That's negative thinking. Here's a positive word: Avoid Paul's letters.
25. Overall thoughts on Galatians: "I have no overall thoughts because I've only read a few verses from it years back."
26. Galatians 1.6-10: Words you will never hear at Lakeside, e.g. "perverted gospel," "the false gospel" and "accursed." Far too judgmental and negative. Paul would have profited from my book, "Your Best Life Now."
27. Gal. 2.16: Justification by faith alone. Never heard of it. Who needs to talk about sin, guilt, forgiveness and the final judgment? Skip Galatians.
28. Gal. 3.10-13: More negativity from Paul about cursedness. Unhelpful. Dismiss him.
29. Gal. 4.: Adoption? From what, the enemy of the kingdom into the kingdom of His dear Son (Col.1.13). Words you'll never hear at Lakeside.
30. Gal. 5: More Stupid Things from Paul You'll Never Hear from Me on TBN or at Lakeside, no Sirree. Look at these negative thoughts: "5.19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." I'm not called to read and preach about these things.
31. Rev. 5: The Lamb Takes the Scroll. We won't preach on that either because I'd have to study Christology, no Sirree.
32. Rev. 6 and the Seals: Hah, more negative thinking, this time from John. Seals about the conqueror, conflict, scarcity in the earth, death, martyrs and cosmic disturbances? Sorry, we are ZERO-folks, mindless.
33. Rev. 7.9ff.: The Multitude from the Tribulation. We've cut Revelation from our Bibles.
34. Rev 8: The Trumpets. More nonsense and negativity from John. All that stuff about striking vegetation, seas, waters and heavens...bye bye John.
35. Rev. 9.1ff. Views from the bottomless pit and the locusts.
Old Joel seems to skip some things.
1. Daniel 4: speaking words of favor and blessing to a pagan and idolatrous king, Nebuchadnezzar. Keeping things lite and upbeat.
2. Daniel 5: Interpreting "Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin" in positive ways without judgmental words.
3. Daniel 9: Skipping this chapter is a word of health and prosperity. There's no such thing as confession of sin for kings, princes, and the people. Just speak that word of favor.
4. Mt. 2.1ff: Avoiding depraved kings, e.g. Herod
5. Mt. 2.13-15: Positive vistas as exiles in Egypt
6. Mt. 2.16ff: Preaching about a historical inaccuracy that God will never allow: the slaughter of children. Best to just avoid this little section and be positive.
7. Mt. 3.1-12: Corrections and homilietical tips to John the Baptist: avoiding those negative words "brood of vipers," "laying the axe to the tree" and other mistakes.
8. Mt. 4.16: Corrective words to Jesus who should never have claimed the passage...coming to "the people who sat in darkness."
9. Mt. 5.4: Jesus' mistaken notion of "blessed are those who mourn..."
10. Mt. 5.10: Jesus' negativity corrected: "blessed are you when they persecute you..."
11. Mt. 5.21: Overcoming adultery, a sermon you will never hear at Lakeside Church, Houston.
12. Mt. 5.27: Overcoming murder, another sermon you will never hear at Lakeside
13. Mt. 6.5ff: Why we ditched the Lord's Prayer (and creedal, liturgical and confessional statements too). We have something far better: words of power and creative faith.
14. Mt. 6.10: What Jesus really meant with "Thy kingdom come..." Just order it up. No need for prayer.
15. Mt. 6.13: What Jesus really should have taught, "Lead us not into temptation..." This is an irrelevant prayer since we run things with our positive words.
16. Mt. 6.19: Corrections for Jesus on "Lay not up treasures on earth..." He missed the boat here and how you can overcome Jesus' words for your life now.
17. Mt. 7: Jesus' "Ask, seek and knock" = think, claim and command God
18. Overall reflections on Matthew: Toss the book and buy mine, Zero-Osteen, for that better life now.
19. Overall teachings on Jesus's Teaching: "I don't know too much about that. I'm not called to that."
20. Mt. 7.18ff: "The Costs of Discipleship and Taking up Your Cross" = Once you see the values, benefits, wealth and prosperity, you'll put that Cross in the rear-view mirror and move forward in high-speed. Reap those blessings. There are no costs.
21. Mt. 9.13: Words that Jesus should never has said. "I came to call sinners to repentance..." Words you will never hear at Lakeside Church, Houston.
22. 2 Cor. 12.7-10: Paul's Massive Screw-up with that Thorn in the Side. His failure to speak that word of faith.
23. 2 Cor. 13.2: Paul's failure of faith and mistake when he said, "...if I come, I will not spare." These are not words of faith.
24. 2 Cor. 13.5: Aren't ya' glad you tune in to TBN and Zero-Steen? You'd never hear these mistaken words, "Examine yourselves to see if you are in the faith..." That's negative thinking. Here's a positive word: Avoid Paul's letters.
25. Overall thoughts on Galatians: "I have no overall thoughts because I've only read a few verses from it years back."
26. Galatians 1.6-10: Words you will never hear at Lakeside, e.g. "perverted gospel," "the false gospel" and "accursed." Far too judgmental and negative. Paul would have profited from my book, "Your Best Life Now."
27. Gal. 2.16: Justification by faith alone. Never heard of it. Who needs to talk about sin, guilt, forgiveness and the final judgment? Skip Galatians.
28. Gal. 3.10-13: More negativity from Paul about cursedness. Unhelpful. Dismiss him.
29. Gal. 4.: Adoption? From what, the enemy of the kingdom into the kingdom of His dear Son (Col.1.13). Words you'll never hear at Lakeside.
30. Gal. 5: More Stupid Things from Paul You'll Never Hear from Me on TBN or at Lakeside, no Sirree. Look at these negative thoughts: "5.19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." I'm not called to read and preach about these things.
31. Rev. 5: The Lamb Takes the Scroll. We won't preach on that either because I'd have to study Christology, no Sirree.
32. Rev. 6 and the Seals: Hah, more negative thinking, this time from John. Seals about the conqueror, conflict, scarcity in the earth, death, martyrs and cosmic disturbances? Sorry, we are ZERO-folks, mindless.
33. Rev. 7.9ff.: The Multitude from the Tribulation. We've cut Revelation from our Bibles.
34. Rev 8: The Trumpets. More nonsense and negativity from John. All that stuff about striking vegetation, seas, waters and heavens...bye bye John.
35. Rev. 9.1ff. Views from the bottomless pit and the locusts.
Old Joel seems to skip some things.
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