Divinity School Aps for Liberals (Don't Laugh Too Hard)

http://homebrewedchristianity.com/2009/07/22/divinity-school-application-for-liberals-dont-laugh-too-hard/

Divinity School Application for Liberals….don’t laugh too hard.

July 22, 2009 by

Divinity School Application for Liberals

 

Beginning term: [_] Fall [_] Spring [_] Summer ___ [_] Other?

 

Indoctrination: [_] Master of Divinity [_] M.Div./MA Counseling [_] M.Div./JD

[_] M.Div./MBA [_] Certificate Health and Spirituality [_] PhD [_] DMin [_] Exploratory

 

Personal Information

 

Imposed Name: ____________ Patriarchal Name: _________________

 

Real Name: ____________

 

Are you a citizen of the American Empire: ______

 

Why:_______________________________

 

Where the Federales Deliver Your Documents______________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

Phone: (home) ______________ (cell ______________ Email:_________________________

Blog:_________________________ Facebook:___________________ Twitter:___________

 

Institutions of Past Indoctrination and / or Liberation

Undergraduate

 

School: ___________________________________ Location: _________________ Years Attended: _______

 

Degree: Yes / Not a meaningful concept. Major(s): __________________ GPA? ____

 

List all the good you did, including marches, protests, speeches, and sticking it to the man: __________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Ever suspended, dismissed, or arrested? Yes / hell yes / not yet

 

List all other schools through which you passed on your pilgrimage to your true self:

 

School: ___________________________________ Location: _________________ Years Attended: _______

School: ___________________________________ Location: _________________ Years Attended: _______

 

Specialized Training or Skills, especially in useful areas (organic horticulture, interpretative dance, deconstruction of metanarratives, making tea, guitar, etc.) _______________________________________________________________________

 

Perceived experiences of what some term “work”:

 

What did you do?

 

Who paid the bills?

 

How did this make the world a better place?

 

How did you grow as a person?

 

Meaningful relationships?

 

Please provide a journal or other artistic expression of your engagement in the world.

 

Demographic Information (so the government knows how much money to give you)

 

My ancestors were oppressed by Europeans by [_] being taken from Africa in slavery [_] Spanish colonization of the “New World” [_]colonization of Asia [_] conquest of the Pacific Islands [_] English colonization of the “New World” [_] economic exploitation of globalization OR [_] I have benefited from the exploitation of other peoples (I’m white, but overcoming)

 

Gender: M/F/L/G/B/T/Q [_] Other________

Political Affiliation: [_] Democratic Party [_] Green Party [_] Freedom Socialist Party [_] Labor Party [_] Peace and Freedom Party

Involvement in Church?

 

[_] spiritual not religious [_] worship the goddess within [_] worship the earth

[_] oldline liberal [_] evangelical (I like the music and the gym) [_] Episcopal

 

What else would you like to share with us?

 

Did you violate any of the arbitrary norms of bourgeois society and experience confinement? Are you likely to? Are you sure? Will you be cool dealing folks who aren’t like you? Do the authorities have records of your perceived misdeeds?

 

Please provide us with the names of people who will write a letter telling us how wonderful you are – even though we all know it’s propaganda.

 

Name:_____________________________ Relationship: _________________________

Name:_____________________________ Relationship: _________________________

 

Will you be willing to attend most classes and do some of the reading? ______________

 

How did you hear about our community of seekers? [_] drugs [_] friends [_] online

[_] at the health food co-op [_] from those engaged in justice work [_] at the coffee shop

I certify that all the information provided on this application, any attached paperwork, and the attached essays are accurate and truthful even though we all know that truth is a relative term that supports the entrenched power of elite institutions and contributes to the oppression of peoples everywhere.

 

Signature: _____________________________________

Date: _______________