Twelve Solas of the Modern ACNA

"The Twelve Solas of the (modern ACNA) Church:

1. Sola Cultura – Culture defines biblical message and preaching. Make anti-homosexuality the basis of collaboration.

2. Sola Successa – Numerical success determines truth. We need affirmation from other Anglicans in the "numbers game." Otherwise, we have no validity.

4. Sola Entertaina – Louder is better (AMiA). Doctrine must go. No catechisms or confessions from pre-1979.

5. Sola Mio – Meet my needs.

6. Sola Emotionala– Emote, dudes and dudettes. "Romanticize" and "feel" those Goth Medievalisms for the TRACTO-fullas. Ensure that you replace doctrinal preaching with a few dozen liturgical pieties to be found no where in the historical Books of Common Prayer. "Emote" for the charismatic stream.

7. Sola Stupida –Thinking not allowed. No theologians, commentaries, confessions, liturgies, doctrinal hymns, or historical references. Pray, pay and obey (the Priest).

8. Sola Romana et Tractana - No Protestant, Reformed, Calvinistic, Confessional Anglicans. Grab the Canons and Constitution to guarantee and solidify your grip. Reformation theology is "heretical."

9. Sola Bootstrappa - Positively no Calvinism as the doctrinal core.

10. Sola Bambina - Only children for leadership. Only boys with no backbone or "principled convictions."

11. Sola Duplicita - Say one thing and behave in another way. Hold to the Thirty-nine Articles, contextually interpreted, and deny the Articles ala Newman. Make sure to cover this up or get rid of this somehow. Say you're all "one in Christ." Smiling and nice talking is required. A doctorate in palaver preferred. "Double-mindedness" is a virtue, so stress that.

12. Non solas - absolutely no five solas of the Reformation